almost 10 days ago I had a Scooter accident; I'll narrate to you what happened, and how it changed a small part of me drastically;
I had spent two days with Youssef, outside Beirut, we were driving back to my place in Beirut, me in my scooter and him in his, of course I had a Benelli similar to a Vespa with a 125cc, and he had a KTM, a sport bike.
he had made a joke about us racing, him driving faster he have reached home quicker, so I felt the need to catch up with him, even a bit of pressure, which I solely put on my self, I have a habit of pressuring my self needlessly, so as I passed an intersection literally 1 minute away from home, the intersection was not a main one, it was a small one, that is usually very very light with traffic, I saw a car passing, and I decided if I were to go fast enough I can definitely pass through before the next car comes, so instead of stopping I went even faster.
All it took was a one second hasty decision, and before I knew it, I was hit by an Infinity jeep, and I flew off my scooter, she was coming fast from my left and she hit the side of my scooter, and the side of my body along, I couldn't believe it, I actually got hit!
it surprised the shit out off me, I thought I was the queen of driving, all it took was one egoistic choice done in a rush, and I could have almost died, I had been driving my scooter for two years without any accidents.
next thing I swirled off my scooter my body flipping around, I looked at my scooter and found that It was half destroyed, and that literally was a stronger hit than the one my body and mind got, because no way I can afford to fix it, no way with the dollar rate, and my low income.
I was in pain, in shock I wanted to cry, I was angry, so I ran toward the Jeep which was 7 meters parked in the middle of the road ahead of me, I started hitting the car and the glass, and calling the woman stupid, blind, and reckless.
she seemed from those ladies who didn't care, with a well equipped car, she didn't even bother to go outside the car to check on me.
her respond, with a very monotone voice I recall, that it was her road to take, and her priority to pass legally, so it should have been me who should have stopped, and checked, she also told me I should be more carful, she added: "any way seems like you're fine, that's what's matter"
She was about to drive off, when I stopped her.
I literally wanted to fall off, and just cry in the middle of the streets, she was right, but I don't think she was Humane, nor had an atom of empathy in her blood, she had her friend next to her also backing her words, and a young woman behind, I felt weak and over numbered, plus she had an expensive car, which in our country unfortunately meant she had more power, A.K.A bribery.
I pulled my self together and asked her, how does she knows I'm fine? I asked what if I'm bleeding internally, "did you see what just happened?" I demanded her to park, and call an expert.
that is when two men ran towards me from I don't know where, and asked her to park and call an expert as well, I felt tired, so I went to my scooter and I remembered I had my Laptop and phone with me, I checked, they were more protected than I was.
I sat, or collapsed on the sidewalk, I couldn't think anymore.
the man told the woman to get me water, she said of course, and brought a bottle from her car, as she stepped closer to me I waved my hands in front of me walking slowly backward while telling her to back off, she kept coming closer and insisting, she felt cold blooded, I didn't trust her, who can trust someone who just hits them, and instead of calling the paramedics, says "you look fine", and then tries to leave, It broke my heart, to think that she could do that, and no one can do anything about it, I answered her : " I don't want anything coming from you, now back off".
I called Youssef, told him in a calm tone, " I just had an accident"
I said it so normally, he thought I was pranking him.
he asked where, I told him at the intersection right before my house, he was parked under my house waiting for me, so he was very close.
he came, looked at me saw I was walking on my two feet, he thought to him self, it must have been a very small accident then he looked at my scooter, saw it was half broken, he looked at me in shock, and then ran towards the woman yelling at her, blaming her, soon there was a crowd of people watching hovering around us on the street, I felt chocked by their heavy presence, they were all fighting I just left them, and stepped out.
later Youssef came towards me, and put his hand on my shoulder I took it off, and turned, I didn't want to cry, he turned and hugged me, and I burst into tears, from all of my heart, I just let go finally, it felt like I had to no power left in me, like a stiff spaghetti who just boiled and melted, as if there were no bones left in me, but only for a minute, then I let go of him and walked away, I didn't want the twenty something people gathered around us to see me crying, I didn't want their pity, nor their overwhelming attention, I needed to breathe.
that accident was my fault, what happened was my fault, talk about instant Karma.
I was heavily bruised on the left side of my chest, on the left hand I fell on, and on my left but cheek, but by miracle, nothing was broken, I dare to say, regardless of my carelessness and the strong hit I took, I was very lucky to be physically safe.
The expert whom the woman called, managed to put the blame on me legally, so the woman would cover 25% of my scooter fixing, and I would cover 75% of her car fixing, my scooter is half broken with the front wheel metal completely bent, her car didn't have a scratch, so after I went to the hospital with Youssef, Two of my sisters and my best friend, four of them are people I love, and I'm happy they were there for me, because I heavily needed them, anyway my results said I have nothing broken, so I called the expert and told him to tell that woman to keep her money I don't want anything that comes from her.
I was soo mad, and still in shock, if someone at any moment would ask me if I'm okay, I'd uncontrollably burst into tears.
I was also full of hatred for the first two days.
I kept playing the scene wishing I handled it better or at least differently, I wished that I called my father first, on the spot, who would have known what's best to do to, and how to handle everything than any of us did, I wished that I turned over opened the door and pooled her out, and hit her.
I woke up the second day, fantasizing about it, I felt sick of being mad though, I decided to take a break, and try to not to think about it at least, since I still couldn't control yet how I felt about it.
on that same day, I went to the kitchen, where I knew I would have privacy, and I started crying, I needed to cry, my body was asking for it, then I had a talk with myself.
I acknowledged that it was my fault, that me above all should have known better, and acted more responsibly, and stopped and checked, I decided that It was a very very very expensive lesson, but that I was lucky, because I had my Family (I consider my close people to be part of my family) next to me, because even though that woman was cruel, I had a family who made up for her cruelty, and made me feel warmer at my coldest.
I made decision, to be slower in life, I make that decision once every few months though.
I tend to drown in life and forget it, I think after this accident it's pretty memorable to me now.
now, I kindly ask people who drive especially scooters, to be more aware, because accidents happen often when we feel like we are soo good at driving, that we don't need to take care all the time, and every second anymore, and that is the biggest mistake, one hasty decision made in a second, and it could cost you a life, or a broken scooter that you can't afford to fix ever :P